My Darling

A large seminar was held for ministers in training. Among the guests were many well-known motivational speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which went over well. About a week later one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It seemed a bit foggy to him this morning. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!" His congregation sat shocked. After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out,"...and I can't remember who she was!"

A couple of nice songs in the past sang about how their love was still the one they turned to, still the one they loved, and the one they longed to be with. Love is not really romantic if it can be replaced by a fling with someone else. In fact, that infidelity betrays the very concept of love and devotion. It was in my parent’s era that husbands and wives would call each other, “darling.” Darling is an interesting word that is actually used in the Bible to refer to God. The meaning of the word darling is “only one.” You can see why the translators used the word to refer to God. He is the “only one” in so many ways: He is the only one who truly loves us; the only one who saves, the only one that is due our devotion, the only one from whom came all things, etc. You can only have one “only one,” only one darling.

When I first came to faith in Christ, I searched churches for pastors and people that truly knew God and were really Christ-like in their character. To my disappointment, after I got to know them better, I realized that they all came up short in some area of their life. I would pray, “God if there is someone I should follow show them to me and I will follow them.” No matter how sincere I believed them to be there was always some weakness in them. It didn’t matter if it was big or small they all failed and they all were at times oblivious to what seemed to be a huge contradiction. They would act rudely, like invite me to lunch and talk on the phone the whole time. They would miss appointments. They would contradict themselves while preaching. I even heard one pastor preach on the importance of forgiving others who met a man after church that he told, “I will never forgive you, that sermon was not meant for you.”

So what does all of this have to do with finding someone to follow, or what your expectations of a pastor should be? I think the point is that only one should have our full devotion and expectation of never failing – that is Jesus. Every true man of God points away from himself to Christ. Like John the baptizer, a man after God’s own heart proclaims, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” A minister that focuses on his ability to preach and minister will not only fall and hurt himself, but he will fall on others and hurt them.

It is not the oratory skills of a minister that makes a great man of God, rather his or her ability to point others away from themselves to Christ. When the apostles prayed for individuals in the Bible who subsequently were miraculously healed, they didn’t go and begin booking speaking engagements in all the cities for healing revivals. They were quick to say things like, “Why do you stare at us as if by our own power or godliness we had made this man walk? By faith in the name of Jesus, this man whom you see and know was made strong. It is Jesus' name and the faith that comes through him that has given this complete healing to him, as you can all see. (Acts 3:12; 16). I am afraid that many preachers are only trying to make a name for themselves and not make much of the name of Jesus.

Paul said, “My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power,” (1 Cor 2:4-5). Yes, it is important to be “apt to teach,” as it mentions in another place in the Bible, but if that is all one is relying on to see lives changed for Christ they are really doing a disservice to the gospel. When we get people to follow us we are in error. We need people to follow Christ. If people are determined to follow Jesus, they will be more apt to accept the failures of a pastor who says, “I am not the one you need to be devoted to, be devoted to the ‘Darling of Heaven;’ The only Holy One, Jesus Christ.”